Wednesday, January 22, 2014

What I've been watching this "winter"...

What have eye been watching?

My little kindle and I have been snuggle-in-the-bed, under the quilt buddies this winter...using Amazon Prime...I have a few TV series I like to watch, and movies.  

I also have some of my "alone" time going to the movie theatres.  It is an escape that helps to just chill and enjoy.   I love going by myself.   The dark theatre, big screen, popcorn smell...and the story immersion.    I have heard some people say, who really like movies, that they can't go to the movies by themselves.   I think that is so sad.   To deprive   yourself of something you enjoy, if no one can go with you.   I actually enjoy going alone.   Like reading a book, and it is just me and these characters....   :)   I like that.  No thought of: will the other person like it, or a bad scene cringe...and a snort if you laugh out loud, or duck a punch in a action scene....     If you have never tried a movie by brave...try it!

so some of my winter watching has included:

Catching Fire

The Hobbit - The Desolation of Smaug (Of course)

Lone Survivor


The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit

and on my Kindle:

The Hobbit - An Unexpected Journey (Extended Version)

Red 2

The Internship

All of the Narnia films

Now You See Me

Forest Gump

Proof of Life

TV Shows:
BBC Downton Abbey, Season 3

BBC Sherlock Season 3


The Mentalist


Covert Affair



Beauty and the Beast

Falling Skies

Warehouse 13


Wow...and I know that isn't all if it.   I guess that is a lot of watching.  :)  Some of my favs in there though.

January is here...but winter is no where to be found

 Here it is January.   No snow, no rain, no need for winter in site.  :(

Seeing that fall and then winter are my two favorite seasons (in that order), this camper-ette isn't too thrilled with no winter...  really.

But at least we have basketball....

and knitting....

and Pinterest....

and movies.....

:)  at least we have that.

I have been doing a lot of "dumb" knitting.  Knitting that does not require much brainpower, forethought or following a pattern, just clickety-click click, knit knit purl purl.  The calming act of knitting.

I was knitting at a basketball game last night.  Talking to the momma beside me, I talked about how I knit in lines, waiting knitting.   I knit in the Starbuck line.  I knit in the grocery checkout line.  I knit waiting to pick up the kids from an event.  I knit at stop lights.   Waiting knitting.

She looked at me and asked if I had ADD.  Is knitting a symptom of ADD?

Scarves, cowls, hats, ....knit knit knit.....and no need for a sweater in sight.

My car (Suburban intermittently called Hootie) in intensive care.   He has been at Otis Automotive going on the third week.   Too many times I get the message it is fixed, only for it to become crippled a block or two later...and limp on back...two times on the back of a tow truck!  Silly.  Embarrassing.  Stressful.   So I have been renting a mini-van for the last two weeks.     Ugh. 

Christmas was good.  Pricey, but good.   I took three weeks off...YES!   Lots of crafting and wrapping and secrets!  :)  fun....

Nick in Red, air bound

And now we are all about basketball.   All four of my minions are on teams....with Ollie and Mei on the same team, Tad on Jr High Boys, and Nick co-captain and starting point-guard on varsity.  Friday nights can get a bit hectic...but fun.   Tuesdays are just that is good.

I have been a year in my new job....same company, different division, at Intel.  And I still enjoy the work I am doing so much more than when I was in IT.   Learning lots every day.

and so, we sit at the beginning of 2014, ...... which I have mixed feelings about....

In the words of Forest Gump, "That's all I got to say about that!"

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

I am weary of facebook.   Facebook has made SOO MANY tiresome changes over the past few months that it is practically impossible to connect with who you want to connect with.  ALL I ever see is this junk stuff from some place or another that I liked once upon a protest protest. :)  Perhaps I will return to blogging....and pretend facebook does not exist.   I will put {thelist} on here, maybe...and there it will sit.


a fun and yummy Thanksgiving
boardgames..specifically RISK and DixIT
"new" (to us) red leather chair
presents hiding, or on their way in the mail
a surprise in the toe of my stocking, when unpacked from last year
a picture of a pickup with a tree on my wall (Thank you)
time off
at this very moment, not feeling stressful about anything
first game of the basketball season tonight!
putting up a few decorations....taking it slow :)


Friday, July 19, 2013

Lean in....

Mark said it right....   I read this yesterday on Ann's blog about control freaks...(eh it so hit the mark...(no pun intended, since it was written by Mark Buchanan) that I had to make this little pic with the quotes.

It is now my desktop background to remind me.  

"Here’s what I’ve learned: Every impulse to seize control — is the Holy Spirit’s invitation to practice self-control.
Every nerve jolt to freak out, melt down, start yelling, fly into rage or panic is a divine cue to slow down, breathe deep, start praying, and lean into God.
Every instinct to control something is God’s nudge to control myself."

Help me remember that Lord.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

a wounded heart in common


all a wounded heart can do to keep beating

is read Ann

"That maybe being the mama I want to be isn’t so much about being more, but trusting more – trusting more in the God of Hagar and Ruth and Hannah, the God who sees the angst, who nourishes the empty places, who hears the unspoken cries — and answers.

That godly parenting isn’t ultimately about rules — but having a relationship with an ultimate God and His children.
" - Ann I read Ann, I see someone like me....wounded heart, loving her kids, and failing them often. No super mommas here. 

Whether it is thinking I am helping, and out of my own pain, hurting instead...or just being so broken that I act the opposite of what I would hope...  there is only one person I think I have found who gets it and still hopes, and still moves forward and still turns to God and still hugs her kids and hopes that the wounds can be tended...

the momma-inflicted wounds....

hurt people hurt people, even when they don't want to.

so, like so many on planet earth, we walk around with wounded hearts in common.

as I walked the hallway at work this morning, I thought, Lord, could we start it all over.   Could we act like just today I found out about you and accepted you...and just today I am starting a fresh life with you.  And just today grace is pouring down for the first time, all around and over my kids.

and I can start loving well

loving with grace

oh how I wish we could...

Friday, July 12, 2013

the taste of fall

it's mid-July, but I tasted fall today...

you know how sometimes a certain smell, or sound, music, or taste, can make you feel like you are in another time...or season?

this morning, as I was walking to my car from starbucks, on the way into work, it was a cool 65 degrees with a breeze, I took a sip of my iced vanilla latte and I felt fall.... almost a skip a heartbeat feeling....

summer is fun and spring is pretty,
winter is tucked in, but on top of the leaf pile is amazing fall.

I love fall.

the air, the season, everything about it....
it is always a time of creativity, and nesting, and homespun inspiration for me. baking, and secrets, back to school and sports games....

love it....

today as I savored my moment of fallness, I felt its good. Its all good.

I was thinking of my dad, "papa" to my kids. 

I had just shared a bit about him with someone....
this someone, not knowing papa, having never met him, still listened in respect and kindness and blessed him. :)

blessed papa already over there....

and a few minutes later, as I tasted heart ached fresh at missing him. We may get on with life, on this side papa, but you are carried around in my heart, as you are living life on that side.

so much about your time on this side I cherish...fondly handle in my mind, turning it over again...smiling bittersweet.

It's ok to have tears and touch the lovespots like bruises...tender.

love you papa...loved fall with you....

and I pray their are seasons in we can love some more falls together....
hey, wouldn't it be awesome if it was fall all the time there?

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Art and soul...

I never blog anymore...huh?

I know.

I think a lot of things.

I facebook a bit.

But just don't blog ...sigh...

But I wanted to share a couple things.  The first is some fun mixed-media Art.   Thanks to Cindy Davis, and Dana Regules...for inviting me to an Art night.  SUCH therapy and so fun!  Cindy runs The Blue Egg Garage...great artistic classes and so much fun.

Here is the fun that I made last night, now hanging in my office!

 It is funny, when Dana asked me what type of girl I wanted, long hair, short, color of hair.  I said long, wavy.   She thought I was making it for someone else, but I was making it for ME!  My fantasy self with long wavy grey hair...ha ha.  like this.

And here it is in my little cubicle at work...right at home!  :)

I also wanted to share a video that my son Nick is in .  A freshman, well now sophomore, he is part of the sign team at his school and some of them performed at the graduation commencement ceremony last Friday.   He is the one on the right in a tux.  They did the song I Wish, by Rascal Flatts.

It was very touching.  (filmed it from my phone, so sorry for the quality..and the first 5 seconds or so are slow.)

Friday, May 10, 2013

Happy Momma's day, every day....

{something I blogged at work today, so I thought I would post it here too}


14 years ago I had just returned to work from my first sabbatical and my first baby. My son was 11 months old and as a new, yet older mother (who had been told she would probably never have children) I was thrilled to celebrate my first Mother’s Day as a momma.

My little chubby boy had just started his stumbling first steps as I was stumbling through my first steps as a momma, working full-time at Intel. So many of my days and nights were a blurry-whirl of interrupted sleep, day-care juggling, nursing -mother business travel challenges and just surviving life. Life was pretty hectic.

Even in the scramble, I was so enamored with my little guy, that I rushed to his daycare at lunch hour to spend that cut-out of time in my busy day with him. I couldn't stand not to! I walked out of FM1 each evening with a pounding heartbeat, and goofy grin on my face, thrilled that it was time to go pick up my baby!

14 years and 4 little minions later, I look at this mother’s day, still thrilled to be a momma, still juggling work and family, and űber-aware of the time-warp that happens with growing kids. My first little man now wears size 13 shoes, is running for student body president and chomping at the bit to learn to drive. I have two “tween”-agers burning up the basketball courts and my little third-grader who can’t understand why she can’t do all the things her big brothers and sister do. Being a momma in the thick of it, when most my same-aged friends are celebrating graduations, weddings and grandkids, I have one message share to all momma’s:

Savor this day

Find the joys, blessings and little gifts tucked in even the most hectic of days. Take a moment to notice them. Touch, hug, smile, notice. Slow and be present in those moments we share with them. Even the messy diapers, dirty, size-13 socks, empty snack bags scattered around the house and 5 gallons of milk on the grocery list are a momma’s gifts. On mother’s day, I realize it is not a card, or candle, flowers or even anything handmade that is the true gift. The true gift is the gift of time. The gift of being present, of all these moments, walking through this life together, as mother and child.

I want to see all of it.

Happy Momma's day, every day.


Thursday, May 09, 2013

sick with heart the door wide....


why 10 years

why does evil rage

why are people so evil

how do we keep our daughters and sons safe?

how even to pray...when girls are held captive for 10 years......

God where are you?

and all the girls and boys held captive this very moment and we have no clue.....

Oh Lord Jesus..... are we alone in this?

if you ache too, and I know you do,  why not stop it?

this is too high a price to pay for free will...the imprisoning of our daughters and sons....

i say every home has to be inpsected twice a year, every member interviewed, every room searched, every locked door opened....


only those with something to hide would not open their doors wide to save the captured...right?

~ , ~ , ~,

Please tell me, those of you with faith,  how do you process this?  How do you reconcile it?